I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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