I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
