I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just found puke in my bra..
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
