I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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