Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
