i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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