i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
