he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
