We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
