haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
