there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
