i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
