You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
