She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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