No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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