I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You were trust falling into bushes
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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