I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
