i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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