Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Randomize
