its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
