she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
