I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I would fuck him just for his dog
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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