i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
