just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
bring money and cleavage
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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