Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You can't just leave with hair like that
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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