Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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