I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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