She said her name was "party"
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
