have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
