I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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