are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
