just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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