okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
