we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
