is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize