i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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