It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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