last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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