Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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