My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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