well I can't set my house on fire every night
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
smell my finger.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
