I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
