Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
