It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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