i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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