Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
