I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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