Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
