You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Just cropdusted the office
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
