So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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